End of Second Year

Current time: 3.10am
Current place: hostel room

What the heck am I doing so late in my room, still blogging? XD
Nope, not rushing assignments... Assignments are FINISHED, at least until next semester. Hahaha...
Nope, not studying for final exam...
Nope, not insomnia...

Hahaha... I went out to let loose all the stresses, tensions, and all the negative feelings I've been having lately. Had great fun! Eating until so full, laughing at the jokes and teasing. Hahaha... But unfortunately I still haven't replace all the sleep that I lost this week. Broke record, slept for only 1 hour for a day. Hahaha... So, I look sleepy and 'chan' right now. Oh well, at least now I have ONE WHOLE WEEK at home to rest. And play! Hahaha... Since my industrial training will start immediately after my final exams.

Industrial training. The thing that has been my constant main stress. Hahaha.. Is finally settled. Guess what? I'm doing it here at Penang. Hahaha.. Don't know if it's the right choice, oh well, I have to go through it then only know right? Think of it as a challenge gua, to be more independent. Anyhow, after I made my decision, all things seems better.. Hahaha...

Aahh... Another semester. And next semester, I'll be third-year student. Then graduation. Time flies. I'll be moving out from hostel. Going to miss it though. Because had a lot of memories with it. Especially this semester too. No more going kepo with coursemates living near my room. No more late night oil burning together. Hahaha.. I'm definitely going to miss it.


PS. Not going to be online at home. So, go read other blogs for this whole week. HAHAHA...

Horoscope

Today's horoscope for Fire Tiger:

You'll have enough courage and perspicacity to solve your delicate professional problems. If you've to travel far, be prepared for annoyances of all kinds. The friendship sphere will be very much favored: you'll make new friends, and your old friends will be of great help to you. You must show more patience toward your children. Toothaches for certain natives; strengthen the enamel of your teeth by activating the production of saliva with the chewing of sugarless gums; go without soft drinks, and drink your coffee or tea without sugar.

*Fingers crossed*

Live, love and laugh

Live, love and laugh. Catchy? Hahaha...

Actually I am ashamed to admit that I think I haven't live my life to the fullest. Ya, I have fun once in a while, but it's not the "full" life that I dreamed of. I may look tough and grumpy but I am actually really very chicken-hearted. LOL! That's why people say "Don't judge a book by its cover". And because of my cowardly personality, I don't like taking risk. I would avoid it rather than face it. And that is why I don't live my life to the fullest. XD

But what is the life that is lived to the fullest? How do you live it to the fullest? Nobody has a manual/guidebook to teach them how to live. Well, then, how do one know if he/she has live to the fullest? lol...

Love. Everyone knows it. Everyone wants it. Everyone needs it. There are many kinds of love; family love, siblings love (duh, not incest lah), friends love, animal love, etc. The greatest love of all: true love. Is it really? But how do people know that they have found it? XD Yea, yea, you got those movies that "show" you about it. But how is it in REALITY? Don't tell me there is another manual to teach people to recognize true love. XD

Laugh. Yea, I like to laugh. Had experienced those laugh-until-stomach-really-hurts a lot. And I laugh like nobody's business. I mean, you probably can hear my laughter from some distance. Well, if you need to control your laugh, then won't it be not natural? I mean, laughter is something like a reflex right? Well, kind of. Of course over the time since we were still *ahem* innocent babies, we have learned about fake laugh, polite laugh, outrageous laugh, evil laugh (hehehe...), etc. But if you think about it, babies don't think twice when they laugh, do they? And they don't have polite laugh and all those variety. They just laugh. That is probably why we love babies so much. They don't control, they don't pretend, they don't fake it. They laugh when they like it and cry when they don't like it. Haha.. Is laughter really the best medicine? I don't know, but I think it helps. At least it helps me. Hahaha... And it doesn't take much to set my laughter off. I just can't help it! Hahaha...


PS. to the one who likes to hear my laugh, hahahahahahahahahahahaha.... thanks! never knew there would be someone who like my laughter. I personally think my laugh are weird and loud. Hahahahaha....

Promise

I make a vow to myself, right here, right now. That I promise myself I will not intentionally or unintentionally, show off my good fortune so that I won't hurt people's feeling. Like what I am feeling right now. So that I can criticize those people who likes showing off without worrying people saying me, pot calling the kettle black. Or was it the other way round? *inset: evil laughter*

No, seriously. I vow to keep this promise as long as I live. Because I now know how it feels like to be on the other end. A little of tact a day is like an apple a day. It keeps offensive feelings away. XD

Fast food, fast comfort

Another sad day. Hahaha.. Another gloomy day. Hahaha.. I should stop with the gloomy and depressed mood, because I don't need another new nickname. Gloomy Summer. Hahahaha...

OK lah, it's not that bad lah. Just wasn't in the mood to do anything. No wait, specifically, I was in the mood of doing anything but my assignments and reports. Yes, it's about my applications again. No wait, it's not exactly that. It's just that seeing someone else advertising telling to the whole world saying how companIES phoned her after she accepted the first one. Jealousy? Probably. But more of eye-rolling, please-be-more-tactful-lah. Ah, I'm getting sick of it already, so let's talk about something more cheerful.

Thanks to the dinner invitation from the very Cool friend (arranged my transportation too! So touched!), eating fast food with gusto, joking and chatting with great friends, I'm recharged! Mentally and er, physically no lah, because ate fast food ma, high calories and fattening, bad for body, haha, I guess just mentally. Which is very important too! So I am very grateful to all of them. Arigatou gozaimasu! I now know that I am not really alone actually. I have great friends in KL as well as in Penang!

PS. Cool, if you are reading this (I guess you probably won't XD), just want to say, if you are a guy, I sure fell in love with you a long time already. LOL. I mean, are you psychic? You know all my thoughts and feelings. Hahaha... Maybe you are my Momo-chan. (reference to Kimi Wa Pet).


PPS. Took my first picture with a cosplayer! Chi from Chobits!

Still here

Another period of busyness is expected for these few weeks... Sigh...

Nope, FYI, I'm still not OK. I mean, yea, I'm fine here, breathing, alive, talking, still a normal me. But I still haven't overcome my mountain. Yea, God answered my prayer for my assignment, but now there is something more. And I really sincerely hope I can make it through.

Sigh, my applications for industry training to the companies have been unsuccessful (an understatement).

Sorry to sound so gloomy and depressed lately. Although I got my batteries charged by going home last week, I'm not sure if it's enough. Talking about going home, maybe it's been awhile since I went home (another new record *applause*), on the journey, I wasn't feeling very enthusiastic. Why? I should be shouting with joy right? Hmm.. maybe I'm too burnt out? Or there is something weighing my mind so heavily that I couldn't feel happy. Or to be accurate, I won't let myself to feel happy. Me very weird hor, torturing myself. Haha... Yup, it's the industry training thing. Who won't feel depressed when everybody around you is having a dilemma of choosing which offers while yours truly is having a dilemma of not even one tiny little offer. And that leads to destructive thinking: is there something wrong with me??

Sigh. Feel like running home for refuge. Shut away the problems. Distance myself from the world. Haha... I'm such a coward..

Oh yea. Who would have guess that election provided me a chance to bond with Dad? Hahaha... Both of us were glued to the TV for the result until 2am. Compared to the 'younger' me, I won't even care know who's who in the election. Haha.. About the election result, well, no comment except that I think there is good and bad effects. Only time will tell...


PS. Thanks for the love, my darling. (You know who you are XD)

Exhausted

I cried yesterday night. It is the second time that I cried here. Same like last time, I was alone. Same like last time, I was exhausted, body, mind and soul. But last time, crying helped lessen the tiredness. But this time, crying won't get me to anywhere. Maybe because last time was more of homesickness and being alone here. This time is more of having a very terrible day. I even snapped at my friend, I'm very sorry... Despairs is eating me up inside. Who can help me? When will the tough gets going? I've been by everyone's side when they need me, but where are they when I need them? Am I really alone? Why do I feel so lonely although I'm surrounded with people? Do I need to climb pass this huge mountain by myself? Can I make it? Oh God, please lend me your strength. I don't think I'm strong enough. Please lead the way, I think I'm lost. Lost in this huge turmoil in my life. Please stay with me. I feel lonely, very lonely. Please lend me your courage, I'm not brave enough to go through this alone. Please answer my prayer, I need your help..