Promise

I make a vow to myself, right here, right now. That I promise myself I will not intentionally or unintentionally, show off my good fortune so that I won't hurt people's feeling. Like what I am feeling right now. So that I can criticize those people who likes showing off without worrying people saying me, pot calling the kettle black. Or was it the other way round? *inset: evil laughter*

No, seriously. I vow to keep this promise as long as I live. Because I now know how it feels like to be on the other end. A little of tact a day is like an apple a day. It keeps offensive feelings away. XD

Fast food, fast comfort

Another sad day. Hahaha.. Another gloomy day. Hahaha.. I should stop with the gloomy and depressed mood, because I don't need another new nickname. Gloomy Summer. Hahahaha...

OK lah, it's not that bad lah. Just wasn't in the mood to do anything. No wait, specifically, I was in the mood of doing anything but my assignments and reports. Yes, it's about my applications again. No wait, it's not exactly that. It's just that seeing someone else advertising telling to the whole world saying how companIES phoned her after she accepted the first one. Jealousy? Probably. But more of eye-rolling, please-be-more-tactful-lah. Ah, I'm getting sick of it already, so let's talk about something more cheerful.

Thanks to the dinner invitation from the very Cool friend (arranged my transportation too! So touched!), eating fast food with gusto, joking and chatting with great friends, I'm recharged! Mentally and er, physically no lah, because ate fast food ma, high calories and fattening, bad for body, haha, I guess just mentally. Which is very important too! So I am very grateful to all of them. Arigatou gozaimasu! I now know that I am not really alone actually. I have great friends in KL as well as in Penang!

PS. Cool, if you are reading this (I guess you probably won't XD), just want to say, if you are a guy, I sure fell in love with you a long time already. LOL. I mean, are you psychic? You know all my thoughts and feelings. Hahaha... Maybe you are my Momo-chan. (reference to Kimi Wa Pet).


PPS. Took my first picture with a cosplayer! Chi from Chobits!

Still here

Another period of busyness is expected for these few weeks... Sigh...

Nope, FYI, I'm still not OK. I mean, yea, I'm fine here, breathing, alive, talking, still a normal me. But I still haven't overcome my mountain. Yea, God answered my prayer for my assignment, but now there is something more. And I really sincerely hope I can make it through.

Sigh, my applications for industry training to the companies have been unsuccessful (an understatement).

Sorry to sound so gloomy and depressed lately. Although I got my batteries charged by going home last week, I'm not sure if it's enough. Talking about going home, maybe it's been awhile since I went home (another new record *applause*), on the journey, I wasn't feeling very enthusiastic. Why? I should be shouting with joy right? Hmm.. maybe I'm too burnt out? Or there is something weighing my mind so heavily that I couldn't feel happy. Or to be accurate, I won't let myself to feel happy. Me very weird hor, torturing myself. Haha... Yup, it's the industry training thing. Who won't feel depressed when everybody around you is having a dilemma of choosing which offers while yours truly is having a dilemma of not even one tiny little offer. And that leads to destructive thinking: is there something wrong with me??

Sigh. Feel like running home for refuge. Shut away the problems. Distance myself from the world. Haha... I'm such a coward..

Oh yea. Who would have guess that election provided me a chance to bond with Dad? Hahaha... Both of us were glued to the TV for the result until 2am. Compared to the 'younger' me, I won't even care know who's who in the election. Haha.. About the election result, well, no comment except that I think there is good and bad effects. Only time will tell...


PS. Thanks for the love, my darling. (You know who you are XD)

Exhausted

I cried yesterday night. It is the second time that I cried here. Same like last time, I was alone. Same like last time, I was exhausted, body, mind and soul. But last time, crying helped lessen the tiredness. But this time, crying won't get me to anywhere. Maybe because last time was more of homesickness and being alone here. This time is more of having a very terrible day. I even snapped at my friend, I'm very sorry... Despairs is eating me up inside. Who can help me? When will the tough gets going? I've been by everyone's side when they need me, but where are they when I need them? Am I really alone? Why do I feel so lonely although I'm surrounded with people? Do I need to climb pass this huge mountain by myself? Can I make it? Oh God, please lend me your strength. I don't think I'm strong enough. Please lead the way, I think I'm lost. Lost in this huge turmoil in my life. Please stay with me. I feel lonely, very lonely. Please lend me your courage, I'm not brave enough to go through this alone. Please answer my prayer, I need your help..