Monday, February 23, 2009

Swimming hazard

>_<"

Another embarrassing moment in my life. Lol.. OK lah, maybe I am too sensitive about it, I guess other people might think it's no big deal. Haha.. OK, this is what happened this evening: My leg cramped while I was swimming today. Thank God, I didn't drown. Hehe.. Still managed to hop to the pool ladder and climb out from the pool. As quickly as possible, I went and sit at the corner, hoping nobody else noticed.. LOL.. The coach came (guess I failed in becoming invisible ;P) and helped me stretch my feet and leg for awhile. Then he went back to order other people to swim this style, that style, etc. I thought my leg recovered, so I quickly go back into the pool again. But just when my legs were halfway down into the water, the cramp comes again. More painful tim. >_<"

What to do but to sit at the floor there (where I was about to enter the pool) and stretch my leg? I didn't think I could hop back to the corner, it's too painful. Don't know where the coach is, I was too self-conscious to ask for help anyway. So embarrassing. Then, (don't get your hopes high for me, lol, no handsome lifeguard came to my rescue, hahaha...) a fellow swimmer asked if I was having cramps then climb out of the pool to help me. LOL. Although I was VERY glad for his help, I was also feeling VERY self-conscious. Thank God for the foggy goggles to blur my vision, so that I won't notice if there is anyone else (other than my fellow swimmers; I'm taking swimming as a course for this semester) at the pool is looking at me. But his technique is good (not to mention strong, HAHAHA, ;P), the cramped muscles soon relaxed.

I couldn't recognize who he is however, because all swimmers, especially guys, who wear swim cap and goggles, looks the same to me. Lol. For girls, at least you can agak agak recognize the swimsuits with their colors and patterns. But for guys, almost all also wear black Speedo and cap. LOL. Before my face reddens, I hastily say thank you and slip back into the pool. But then even if I recognize him also nothing ler. So many other girls with great body figures and nice skin in my swimming class. Who will pay any attention to fat, hairy and "airport" girl wor.. Hahaha... Now you see why I feel self-conscious?? Hahaha.. My self-confidence level is nil too. Anyway, really grateful for this kind-hearted guy who took pity on me. Hehe..

Even though no more cramp, I was very worried if the muscle cramps again. I was losing the mental battle. My mind keep thinking about cramps. >_<" So I didn't dare to kick my legs much, was swimming like a snail. Eh, can snails swim? Haha, anyway, today no jump-into-water session (thank God) so I just float around until the class ends. Hoho.. That's the report of another embarrassing moment in my life.

PS. Anybody knows how to avoid muscle cramps? I did do warm-up exercise before swimming de wor.

Saturday, February 21, 2009

Mind my own business

Yay! SummerScent got another fan! LOLOLOLOL... Gee, it's very easy to make me feel happy, isn't it? Haha.. Anyway, thanks for 'give me face' by visiting and reading my blog, little lamb. Hehe.. Plus, you can remember the small stuff in my posts that I myself need some time to dig around my memory. Hahaha.. Arigatou! Although I only post about stuff that are irrelevant or unimportant, I still hope you all enjoy reading it. Hehe..

Ah, last few days ago I realized that I actually feel cynical about love. Maybe because it is a subconscious thing, I didn't realize it earlier. But why? I still couldn't find the answer either. It's not that I think love is impossible, etc. Even though I'm still unattached currently, I still have some hope of me finding that someone special. (The love I'm talking about is the boy-girl-relationship love, not the other kinds of love) Being cynical about love, does it means I don't believe in love? Hmm, no, not true. I do believe in love. Then could it be that in the past, you didn't get love from parents, others, etc? No, I love my family very much, and I know they love me too.

OK, so I might need more time than others to put trust on someone. But it couldn't be counted as I don't trust people, right? I just need more time. Haha. I always thought that I can give rational advice to people about their love problems based on the times friends have come to find to talk about it. All the things I said, are usually from my rational mind perspective and add a bit of consideration of the feelings and tact. But I never thought that there will be a day that someone would feel that I'm discouraging them in pursuing their love. I'm not as evil as that lah. Although I haven't get my own happy ending, I won't purposely stop you from getting yours and I feel very glad if you've found it. I know my advices are more "mind" than "heart". But I'm not saying you should ignore what your heart is telling you. Oh well, I guess I'm not suitable to give love advices after all. Which is true lah, since I don't have experience in it also, but then it is not that I go out and simply give advices to people. If you ask me, then I'll tell you lor. If I DID give advice even though you didn't seek it, then I apologize. I just care about you.

But to say that under my words, I'm telling you give up or discouraging you, etc, it kinda hurt my feelings also leh. Because I never mean it that way. I guess I should be careful with my words next time eh? Or maybe I should just mind my own business. Or else there will be someone else who read between my lines and find even worse stuff.

If it's true that I subconsciously discourage people about love, then it is confirmed, that I am cynical about love. Which kinda make me feel depressed. It is like confirmed liao I won't find my special one. Sigh.