Saturday, February 21, 2009

Mind my own business

Yay! SummerScent got another fan! LOLOLOLOL... Gee, it's very easy to make me feel happy, isn't it? Haha.. Anyway, thanks for 'give me face' by visiting and reading my blog, little lamb. Hehe.. Plus, you can remember the small stuff in my posts that I myself need some time to dig around my memory. Hahaha.. Arigatou! Although I only post about stuff that are irrelevant or unimportant, I still hope you all enjoy reading it. Hehe..

Ah, last few days ago I realized that I actually feel cynical about love. Maybe because it is a subconscious thing, I didn't realize it earlier. But why? I still couldn't find the answer either. It's not that I think love is impossible, etc. Even though I'm still unattached currently, I still have some hope of me finding that someone special. (The love I'm talking about is the boy-girl-relationship love, not the other kinds of love) Being cynical about love, does it means I don't believe in love? Hmm, no, not true. I do believe in love. Then could it be that in the past, you didn't get love from parents, others, etc? No, I love my family very much, and I know they love me too.

OK, so I might need more time than others to put trust on someone. But it couldn't be counted as I don't trust people, right? I just need more time. Haha. I always thought that I can give rational advice to people about their love problems based on the times friends have come to find to talk about it. All the things I said, are usually from my rational mind perspective and add a bit of consideration of the feelings and tact. But I never thought that there will be a day that someone would feel that I'm discouraging them in pursuing their love. I'm not as evil as that lah. Although I haven't get my own happy ending, I won't purposely stop you from getting yours and I feel very glad if you've found it. I know my advices are more "mind" than "heart". But I'm not saying you should ignore what your heart is telling you. Oh well, I guess I'm not suitable to give love advices after all. Which is true lah, since I don't have experience in it also, but then it is not that I go out and simply give advices to people. If you ask me, then I'll tell you lor. If I DID give advice even though you didn't seek it, then I apologize. I just care about you.

But to say that under my words, I'm telling you give up or discouraging you, etc, it kinda hurt my feelings also leh. Because I never mean it that way. I guess I should be careful with my words next time eh? Or maybe I should just mind my own business. Or else there will be someone else who read between my lines and find even worse stuff.

If it's true that I subconsciously discourage people about love, then it is confirmed, that I am cynical about love. Which kinda make me feel depressed. It is like confirmed liao I won't find my special one. Sigh.

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