Monday, March 08, 2010

Arh! Where is the fella who is shooting me???

*Bang bang bang, chik chak, bang bang bang*

Her shooting skills sucks. Yeah, she knows that. But since this is a rare chance to play with her cousin (the last time they played together, was like more than 10 years ago), she won't give up the chance. She laughs when she waste so many ammo on one target. She admires the skills that her cousin has. She goes gaga over the gaming consoles that he has.

After so many years, one thing has not changed. She still envies her cousins. Not the ugly, competitive type of jealousy, just the oh-i-wish-i-have-that-too envy. When they were young, she loves to play at their house because they got all the cool playthings. Lego (which was popular during her childhood), those Nintendo gameboys, video games, and a large collection of comics. She wondered if that is partly the reason why she is more into gadgets and computer than cosmetics and fashion. She rolls her eyes, she's been trying to update her wardrobe and looks lately, bit by bit, but she still feels like a noob in that department.

After they all have grown up now, she thinks they still have the cool playthings. Haha. It's not that she couldn't afford it, she guessed it's just not her nature to buy them. Oh, she likes to play them, of course, but it just feels weird when she imagine herself owning them. One main point is, she doesn't have anyone else to play with her. So when she tagged along to visit her aunty, her inner child was bouncing with joy when one of her cousins was at home AND invited her to play. Hahahaha... Just like the old times. Ah, how much she misses that. She wonders what would it be like 10 years from now on, could they still play together? Hahaha....

Saturday, March 06, 2010

Random thoughts, different POV

She closed the book, feeling a bit disappointed with the ending. But not disappointed enough to slam the book on the table, her love of books is more than that. Still, her mind is reeling from the book she just finished. Technically, the ending is a happy one, but she thinks stuff like movies and books is a subjective issue. Not everybody is going to love a particular book or movie the same way she does. And vice versa.

And she thinks the ending sucks, despite her logical mind keep saying in her head that it is the most realistic ending. Although she is a romantic deep in her heart, her mind dominates her heart. Maybe that is why she still haven't found her love. Or will she ever find it. Because she thinks she is getting more and more cynical about the whole thing called love. Take the book for example, it's about a girl who find herself falling in love with her boss, the super cool rock god. The bad boy. But it ends with the girl chose his best friend instead of him. The good boy. She doesn't understand it. The girl said she loves the bad boy, but she chose the good boy. No, no, she doesn't have any prejudice against the good boy, but... She feels that it is ok if the girl didn't choose the bad boy, but she rather prefer that the story ends with the girl gets better and independent, instead of just go and be with the good boy. Because she wonders if the girl really loves the good boy or not.

Her mind totally understand the girl in the story. Because the girl chose realistically. What future does she have with a rock star who drinks, do drugs and sex with all those girls compared with his best friend who is more stable, have same interests as her, and she feels secure with him. It is a battle between the romantic heart and the logical mind.

I guess she should have read the ending first before she buy the book. Haha. So, she closed the book and reached for a different one, which surely guarantees an ending that she will be satisfied with. Her brother is right, why do you need the ending if it is possible that you would not like it? Just imagine your own ending that will satisfy you and then end of story. But, she doesn't see book-reading that way. She rather follows the book even if the ending disappoints her. She loves being absorbed into the world of a book.

Her mind couldn't stop thinking about the ending. She wonders, what if she had to make a decision like that someday. Who would she choose? The bad boy or the good boy? Or what if she met the good boy, should she settle straight away or leave him and hang on to that ridiculous wish that her bad boy or frog prince will come to her one day? She snorts, that day could be when she is way past the "deadline". She hates the deadline. 30. Distractedly, she switched on the TV and voila, the channel is showing Dalja's Spring, one of her favourite K-drama. The heroine is 33 years old and now only she found her man, the handsome hero (fan-girl sigh) who is by the way 6 years younger than her. She smiled, if only she can be like her...

PS. ..ONLY IF she haven't found her other half before turning 33 like the heroine.